Hard Love

by SprayCanHart

I was 15 years old when I finally talked my mom into buying me my own computer! I was extremely excited because almost everyone I knew in school had one. The internet was definitely the thing to have as well. After sweet talking my mom for days on in, I also got her to let me have me have my own DSL connection.

I stayed up endless hours being online, going into chat rooms, instant messaging on the messengers.

However I must warn you, I'm a lesbian and I hadn't come out to friends in high school yet. So I found my way onto some "lesbian chat rooms" where I felt more comfortable being "out of the closet."

To this day, I can't exactly tell you the actual name of the chat room I was in. Yet, it was the chat room that I would meet my first GIRLFRIEND.

Her screen name was StrawberryGen. We began to chat away in a one-on-one messenger. I checked out her profile to get a more visual view of what she looked like (Mind you, I was young and I had nooo taste whatsoever, so being picky was not an option). She had long red hair, piercing green eyes and fair complexion. All I knew was, "hey she's talking to me and she likes me and I think I like her too, let's do this!"

And from there started our on and off relationship of 8 months.

Let me bring you to our first encounter. She informed me of a 'Gay Prom' held in Pasadena, giving out the BIG HINT that that is our moment to meet face to face. I was nervous and anxious all at the same time. So without knowing HOW to get there or WHERE Pasadena was, I told her "Sure I'll meet you there, just give me the directions!" I then had to ask my family members for a ride to this event. I did not inform them that I was going to meet up with my girlfriend, because 1) I'm Asian and 2. Asians are a STRICT household.

After numerous attempts asking cousins I finally asked my Older Sister. She was shell shocked about hearing that this 'Gay Prom' was in Pasadena. But I told her that I NEEDED to go, this will help me find myself (Yes I really said that).

So the night of the event came, I was nervous, I didn't know what to wear. The night began sour, we ended up getting lost and I arrived late. My sister dropped me off and when I got to the location, there was hardly ANYBODY THERE!! ("how embarrassing" I thought)

Then I recalled the outfit my Girlfriend was going to wear. And I scoped out the place and there she was, dressed in black. And then the bombshell. I saw that she had an amputated arm and was limping!!! Although she had a prosthetic arm on she NEVER once told me about this. I'm not a shallow person, but I feel like that detail is pretty important, don't you agree?

Well it turned out she had a prosthetic arm and leg due to a disease she had when she was a child. I still ended up falling for her despite her outer appearance. We had a long distance relationship where she lived an hour and some minutes away. I would risk going to see her by taking the metrolink train or borrowing my cousin's car at age 15 with NO LICENSE. We ended up being together for 8 months on and off.

On and off because she cheated on me with her best GUY friend (so much for the term lesbian) and I then cheated on her with another girl I knew from school.

There were no regrets, only an experience that I will never forget! They say first loves are hard to forget, well ain't that the truth!

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